she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He better not be in your backpack
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
