I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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