are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
