I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
