Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
