Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize