Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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