Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
