speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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