I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
