and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
