Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
