Are we in a gay sports bar?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
