Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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