then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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