it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
