She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize