It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize