i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So squirting runs in the family.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize