I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
