Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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