I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
