Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
