Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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