Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
