Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
May the power of my ass compel you!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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