Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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