All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
