I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
