just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
