The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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