I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
