You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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