Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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