i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i believe in u and ur pee
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
