Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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