Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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