Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
