You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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