I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
