I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
