I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
