What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize