We're facebook friends in real life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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