I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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