either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
as a side note pls kill me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
