he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
