I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
