So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I want is dick and wine.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
