this will be a night to untag.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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