i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
