Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
