so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
