u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
