You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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