i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
