I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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