Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
