as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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