I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
