Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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