Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
where does the pee come out of this thing
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
