The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
