Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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