The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
