OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
