i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
