Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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