If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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