I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
