I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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